Making decisions.
“Make decisions based on how you want to feel rather than on what you’re afraid to experience, and your life will be shaped by your dreams instead of your fears.” - Joseph Nguyen.
I have recently started going down the path of reading mental health books (don't worry, I still love poetry). The one I am currently reading is called “The Overthinking Guide to Making Decisions” by Joseph Nguyen, and it is one of the most insightful pieces of literature that I have read in a long time. It has opened my eyes to the unique and intricate ways the mind works through our thought processes, emotions, and more. It has been getting me through my incline treadmill walks in the morning and helping me decompress late at night before I sleep. Two important messages have really stuck out to me, and I want to share them with you all.
“The greatest power we possess is choice.”
“Just because things have been a certain way doesn’t mean they have to stay that way.”
I have spent the past few months really reflecting and taking time to understand my mental health. I want to know the real me. Setting boundaries, learning to say no, stepping back to breathe, but most of all focusing on the power of decisions and choice. My life was going a certain way for a while, which made me feel drained, as if my personality was changing. I did not feel like I was actually uplifting my spirit and working toward my best self. I was overthinking almost every conversation I would have with friends, family, or people I met for the first time. I did not like how I felt when I went to bed at night. I made a change. I became silent, silently observing for a bit. Looking at friendships, relationships, and life from a completely different perspective. I took time to look inward, working on my boundaries when it came to making my life decisions and the people I spent the majority of my time with. Do I feel good around these people? Is my morning routine setting me up for a productive day? Am I taking time for myself? You should not make the consistent choice of being around people who are negatively impacting your mental health. You should not be falling into a habit that you know is not beneficial to you. You should not be in a routine that makes you feel stressed or unproductive. Each day will feel a little lighter, with each breath a little fresher, when you start to prioritize yourself and make decisions that will make you feel good. I made decisions that seemed scary at first, but led me to be the person I am today, as I write to you, listening to ABBA.
The root of overthinking is fear. It could be fear of being perceived a particular way. Fear of being judged or talked behind your back. Fear of letting your true personality show. Fear of being forgotten. This is all normal, but if we live in a constant state of this fear, overthinking will worsen, making decisions harder. If you feed on fear too much, almost every single decision you make will be made out of it. The more you try to avoid an outcome or emotion, the more you’re actually pushing yourself toward it. Your brain is like soil, a thought or emotion is like a seed, and your overthinking is like water. If your seed is happiness and peace, your mind will be a beautiful garden! If your seed is fear, your mind will become overwhelmed with weeds. You need to direct your motivations, inner dialogue, and attention onto a different patch of soil with more sun. So you can grow! It is a long process, but I like to think my brain is a nice hydrangea plant with some sunflowers to the side (my favorite flowers).
Do not be afraid of the outcome of your decisions (unless you know they will end badly, pls act smart, guys). Shift your mindset to something you know will fulfill you. Let’s all make our minds a beautiful garden.
