Foundations.

I have noticed recent trends in social media and society: the need to change yourself (mind, opinions, body, etc) in order to appear likable. Specifically on tiktok and instagram. I noticed the shift of wellness to being all aesthetics and not actually for the bettering of your health and body. I noticed the shift in ideologies. I keep seeing people trying to fit into being a “perfect human.” This almost takes away the entire purpose of self growth and proving anxieties wrong, don’t you think?

I can admit I have fallen to what is trending. As a young woman, we are put under constant pressure of how we carry ourselves, how we look, how we speak, and even how we think. Too afraid to actually speak our minds or stand up for ourselves because it might be “impolite.” Too afraid to embrace the unique imperfections we have on our bodies, just because we see influencers or celebrities change something about themselves daily. Too afraid to wear clothes we think are cute because of the judgment from others. The need to change ourselves because of “the male gaze.” We are going backwards.

This is really something I wanted to talk about because I have been struggling. I have moments where I am on such a high about wanting to be different from everyone, but as soon as I see a video or picture, I revert and have to be like everyone else. I have lost sight on the importance of individuality and being your own person. No matter the amount of meditating, self reflection or deep breaths, I was always under a state of stress because I wasn’t fitting to what society is deeming acceptable. Don’t get me wrong, this is an issue for every single person. No matter the age, gender or background. I have literally started to think that eating a cookie was horrible because of health influencers ranting about how bad seed oils are for you…we have officially lost the plot guys. EAT THE COOKIE.

It also has been with the music or entertainment we all consume. Immediately new standards being set. I was watching “10 Things I Hate About You” the other day and was thinking to myself, “Wow, our standards and idea of thoughtfulness has done a complete 180.” This post is targeted toward my female readers (no offense to the men) but we need to stay strong with ourselves. I wanted to completely forget the growth I have made in recent months to be fitting our new norms. Because for some reason skinny is trending again, when healthy should be trending. The power of how we speak about ourselves needs to be spoken about more. The more critical of how you are toward yourself, the more you negatively speak about yourself…the more it is going to show. It’s true. I have put so much emphasis on everything “negative” that it has shown, my hair and skin has changed a bit, my demeanor is smaller and not confident like it was a few weeks ago. Madison Beer said, “You can't hate yourself into the person you want to become. You can't hate your body into looking a different way. You can't hold yourself to an unrealistic standard and then punish yourself for falling short. Hating and criticising yourself is backward progress.”

She couldn't have said it any better. If you really want to become a stronger, powerful, independent, and force of a person…it cannot happen when you are just hating on yourself. Think of yourself as a medieval stone fortress (I have been really into researching medieval England so just go with it). You cannot use the stones made from insults, self hate, or negative thoughts to built this strong fortress. Because the foundation is purely out of something without positivity or self love. From this, if there was ever a small little comment made and you took it the wrong way, your fortress is gone, almost acting as a strong wind. Build your personal castle so that will last forever. Build yourself up and speak of yourself in way that will allow you to survive anything that is thrown at you. The more you speak of yourself in a positive way, the more you will tune out the outside voices. The more you will ignore what is happening in society that will for sure send you backward.

Take this and wake up. You all, who are reading this blog are people who want to strive to be their best selves, while navigating the crazy things anxiety tries to do to you. Please do not try to become what society is forcing. Your body is a temple that should be worshipped. Your mind is a garden that needs water (positive thoughts) to grow. Your heart is to be protected and cared for, not put under stress.

I really hope this blog does reach people and help them in some way. I am not perfect. I am not this strong and secure person, but I am striving to become that person. This post in particular is pushing me more because of the way social media is wrecking people. So, I actually have a request…to limit social media by whatever amount you think is good. Do it for a few days and notice if there is a difference in the way your days go or thoughts are.